About Tania

Me & my boys circa 2003

My name is Tania Tirraoro. I am an author, social media consultant and current co-chair of Family Voice Surrey parent-carer forum.

I have two sons who, a few years after this photo was taken, were both diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. I started this blog to help other parents, like us, who are entering the jungle of special needs education. It’s a scary, stressful place. I’m not a lawyer or an education specialist and can’t give legal advice, but you will find on this site links to places where you can get it. If you are such a person and would like your link added, please get in touch.

I was born in Prestatyn, North Wales, and raised in Culcheth, a village near Warrington, Cheshire, in a single parent, family and was taught that if you wanted something you had to go out and get it, which is what I’ve always done.

I may live in Surrey, but my northern working-class girl roots formed my character and I firmly believe the weakest among us should be supported and not vilified, victimised or abandoned.

I worked in broadcast news for a decade before we had our boys. Going back to work full-time wasn’t feasible because we knew instinctively that they were not “your average bears”. But it was a journey, and one that many others will recognise, to discover why that was, what it was that was different and how to find the help they needed.

There was little help from schools; not because they didn’t want, to but because they didn’t have the knowledge or the resources.

We have been through the process and come out the other side with statements of SEN for our ASD sons and funding for them to attend an independent special school. It wasn’t easy, it took a lot of research, time and hard work. We didn’t use a lawyer but did have support from the National Autistic Society’s Advocacy Service, which is an excellent port of call.

We were initially told our younger son wouldn’t get a statement because his needs weren’t severe enough so it wasn’t worth trying. However by the time he was in junior school his progress had stalled and because his learning style was so different to most children it became apparent that he could not be adequately supported in mainstream.

We applied for a Statutory Assessment but were turned down. We appealed to SENDIST and the LEA backed down before the hearing, agreeing to assess our son.

I realised if I wanted my son to get what he needed I had to put in the work myself. For many long hours, I researched all the policies and information available from the LEA on the internet, analysed all my son’s reports, and wrote an extremely long document complete with many appendices about why my son should have a statement. I included Ed Psych reports, Paediatricians reports, OT http://www.amazon.co.uk/Special-Educational-Needs-Getting-Statements/dp/1908603585reports, examples of his work, lists of strategies tried and IEPs generated and quoted any relevant information I could.

I also built up a good relationship with our SENCo who provided me with as much information as I needed, without overstepping the boundaries of what she was “permitted” to do by the LEA.

My son was given a statement without further argument but the Draft Statement said the LEA thought he could be supported in mainstream. I wrote another long document, using the reports in his Draft Statement that I had not previously seen and went through the statement’s recommendations line by line finding it was full of holes. I sent my new document back to the LEA, including a basic cost analysis for the support it said he needed compared with the fees at the independent special school we had found that could meet his needs. I pointed out that having put this much effort in I would be fully prepared to go back to Tribunal if necessary.

Within a week, they had agreed to pay my son’s fees at his new school, much to our relief and that of our bank manager. Having learned so much during the process, I wanted to use the information I had gathered to help others in our situation. The moral of my story is, I believe, never give up on what you believe in, ask for help if you need it and be prepared to put the work in because no one else will.

Me with Sons1 & 2. Image by Angela Melling

Me with Sons1 & 2. Image by Angela Melling

A year later, we walked the same road getting a statement for our older son. I found the resources on this site useful for myself to refresh my memory! Again we were initially turned down butminds were changed and now he too is funded at the same school. I didn’t have to go to Tribunal myself, largely, I believe because of the case I put together, but I know many who have.

It shouldn’t be like this and hopefully with the new bill that’s now being trialled, maybe things will change. I am lucky enough to be able to take an active part in this – and finally parents’ voices are being heard. What will we end up with? That remains to be seen in 2014 but for now, the system continues as usual, dirty tricks and all.

Because it is so stressful I would recommend that you be sure of your case and your facts before you set yourself up for a potentially expensive and fruitless battle. You should be convinced that your child has little chance of success at school without the extra help a statement attracts. Good preparation is the key to a successful application or appeal and there is no doubt that this takes time and energy. Whenever it got too much, I reminded myself that I wasn’t doing it for me, but for my son and his future.

An adversarial system is not good for parents or children. I hope parents can use this blog to find useful information and resources and that you will feel able to share your own experiences and resources with you. I now have a book out that expands greatly on this site and includes excerpts from real cases. It’s available on Amazon.co.uk, priced just £6.99.  Good luck and thank you for reading.


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Leave a comment


  1. Karen Sutton

     /  July 10, 2009

    If my son is already at a special independant school. Should I say why we think he should continue in this school and that this is the school for him

    • Special Needs Mum

       /  July 26, 2009

      Karen – yes you should point out what this school is doing for your son and why you do not think it can be replicated in a mainstream school.

  2. Thank you for sharing. You did an amazing job advocating for your sons. I, too, had to do much advocating for my middle son. Beautiful boys!

  3. Special Needs Mum

     /  February 11, 2012

    Thank you for your kind words and I hope your son has the provision he needs now x

  4. amanda walsh

     /  April 30, 2012

    My son is currenlty in yeat 3 main stream with a full 25 hour statement, but latey his behaviours have become extreme and he has been refusing to attend school. He isnt managing his school work and it usually very bright and itelllgent, we just dont know what to do and the school seem to be no helo. we kow he would be much happoer in a specialist school were he would get full support in the right form, but dont know how to go about this. We are based in manchester. any advice would be most helpful

  5. Nikki

     /  July 6, 2012

    I think my son had PDA and am fighting to get it recognised. Would love to add you on FB or twitter but can’t find you xxx

  6. smita

     /  November 24, 2012

    Tania, i have just come across your website and it is such an apt title because it really is a jungle. i am trying to find a way of having information in a more structured way for parents to understand the system of special educational needs and how to get the help their child needs. i am going to look at everything on your website in more detail but in the meantime, do you think this is possible and if so, can you help me start. It just seems so much confusion in what you can get or not get, what is available,etc.


    • Tania Tirraoro

       /  November 27, 2012

      Hi Smita
      I have a paperback and Kindle book that details how to get started with a statement and you can find more information on the Contact a Family site as well

  7. Janine

     /  March 3, 2013

    I just wanted to say what a great website,my little boy starts school this year. He is very behind in his speech and Early years have recommended for him to be statemented. Speech and language have finally agreed to back early years and myself in wanting this for my little boy. Still a long road I know! He was born at 26 wks and has had numerous issues with bronchial and tummy problems/feeding and food sensitivities.

    I will be ordering your book to help me along my way.



    • Tania Tirraoro

       /  March 3, 2013

      Hi Janine
      Good luck to you, I’m sure you won’t have any problems with the statement as he is such a young age. Just make sure it says everything it needs to say (my book will help with this). Depending on where you live, you may be able to be part of a pathfinder trial (there are 31 local authorities)
      When he gets a statement it will be changed in due course to an EHCP when the new system comes in, in 2014. Be informed and be your boy’s advocate. To do this, you need to take care of yourself – do not put your own needs and health last, but equal.
      Best wishes to you

  8. Hi!

    I’m trying to use the contact form, however an error message keeps popping up when I press send!

    I’m a freelance journalist based in London working on a series of stories about children with disabilities/special needs in the UK. This is part of my final master’s project and parts of it will be published for an NGO called Safe World for Women. The organisation focuses on women and children’s rights.

    Hayley Goleniowska from Down Side Up suggested I contact you concerning the Children and Families Bill and SEN reforms. If you’re interested in talking to me, I prefer to do an in-person interview, however, I can also via phone or Skype. My deadline is July 29.

    Looking forward to hearing from you!



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